Joke #1: Teledoctoring replaces inefficient house calls with terrifying, traumatic experience.
Joke #2: "Mr Jones, there seems to be something wrong with your pincer. It's all squishy and has too many claws. I can't imagine how you've been getting all your pincing done."
Joke #3: "You think you're sick? This thing here... your "ARM". These are what I miss most about being a severed doctor head in a box. Thanks for rubbing it in, jerk."
Joke #4: Teledoctoring successfully treats all major afflictions of the left arm. Other body parts to be reached in future decades, after "wheels" are invented.
Joke #5: Teledoctoring replaces Radiodoctoring. Mortality rate slightly improves.
Joke #6: Eliminating the need for house calls, Teledoctoring allows the physician to verify that the patient is still dead, many times throughout his day, without leaving his office.
Joke #7: Teledoctoring replaces all outdated means of lifting the arm and poking it.
Joke #8: Teledoctoring replaces inefficient house calls, for ninety-five cents for the first minute, five dollars for each additional minute. Average call time, seventeen hours.
Joke #9: "Thank you for using Teledoctor. Your call is very important to us. For leprosy, press one. For emphysema, press two. For crushed hand, press three. For all other ailments, please remain sick and one of our ridiculous contraptions will be with you shortly. Thank you for using Teledoctor. Your call is..."
Joke #10: "Hmm. Well, pinching your arm reveals nothing out of the ordinary. Where did you say this 'colon cancer' was bothering you?