3/4/10

Accident Investigation - Lucrative career... caught in the act!

This is yet another ad in Mechanix Illustrated hawking fabulous and exciting career opportunities. This one's about accident investigation. Funny thing is, the photo they used makes it look like the guy's been caught in the act of committing a crime.

Joke #1: There he is! Get him! You can't keep the secret of making $20k a year to yourself! get back here!

Joke #2: Excuse me, investigator Miller. A moment of your time, please? Can you explain to our viewers how the phrase "act of god" can be used in an insurance policy without first determining the religious faith of the policyholder? Investigator Miller? Sir?

Joke #3: Hold it right there, Miller. You're not going anywhere till you explain how, in forty-one years, I'll be able to save up to 15% by switching to Geico.

Joke #4: This man is Joe Miller. An ordinary man driving his ordinary car to his ordinary job... not at all the kind of person you'd expect to become embroiled in a scandalous dispute over policy premiums for safe drivers between the ages of forty-five and fifty. No, wait. He is. Never mind.

Joke #5: This man is Joe Miller. He earns $20,00 a year, the exact amount that will be required to purchase this same car in forty years. Interesting? No. That's Joe for you.

Joke #6: This is Joe Miller. He's just begun a profitable career in accident investigation. All the human remains you can eat and those glasses are free. Good deal? Joe thinks so. Best not to talk to Joe.

Joke #7: This is Joe Miller. He's just exiting the passenger seat of his self-driving robo-car. At least that what Joe thinks. A rich internal fantasy life is just one of the things you'll need to get through each and every day as an accident investigator. Send for your free booklet today.

Joke #8: You can be an accident investigator just like Joe here. You can make up to $20,000 a year and know you're helping people in a time of need. But to see all the squished up guts and stuff, you'll need to get to the scene before the paramedics are done. Send for your free booklet today.

Joke #9: This Lee Harvey Oswald photo is clearly photoshopped. Oswald drove a Nash Rambler.

Joke #10: Second shooter caught on way to Build-A-Bear workshop.

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