9/22/10

Large Machine Training - Two of everything.

Joke #1 - "Boys, it's time you met your mother. This is the Twinnitron. Hoyt, you came out of the left chamber, and Herndon came out of the right one. As you can see here, we had Hoyt's dial set to "pretty stupid". Somebody must have bumped it. Sorry Hoyt. Yeah, I knew you wouldn't mind."

Joke #2 - "Before you get out into the field, boys, you'll need to put in a few hours on this, the Second Base Machine. It's crucial training that you all need badly... especially you, Hoyt. By this time tomorrow, you'll all be ready for the prom."

Joke #3 - "So you see, Terrence, the right dial displays your chosen quantity of clones, and the left dial is where you set the type of clone. Somehow we wound up with a pair of "doofuses" instead of "dudes". (The second shift is getting a little sloppy.) So just push these two idiots into the recycler. Sorry boys"

Joke #4 - "So you see, Terrence, the right dial displays the duration of the experience and the left dial is where you set your desired intensity. Okay, Hoyt, pull out and zip up. It's your brother's turn to try it. Gentlemen, we're all going to be rich!"

Joke #5 - "So you see, Terrence, as I turn this handle, this needle moves around. Pretty cool, huh? The right dial is something I still haven't figured out, but that's how innovation goes. In another year, I think I can get the machine down to about half this size."

Joke #6 - "So you see gentlemen, as I turn this handle to the right, the needle goes to the right, indicating that I've turned the handle to the right. Both sides do the same thing, so there's one for each of you. Try it out for yourselves. Terrence and I will be back in a few hours to see how you're coming along"

Joke #7 - "And as I was explaining in the classroom, this left dial displays Hoyt's dorkiness in meganerds. And we can see Herndon's uncoolness displayed on the right. So, as Hern wets his pants there, you can see the needle rotating to the right. Good job, Herndon. That's mighty dorky. Try to keep up, Hoyt."

Joke #8 (Guest joke by John Griffin) - Dr. Mengele showing off his Mengelizer.

Joke #9 (Guest joke by John Griffin) - "As you can see from this gauge, the first twin is quite aroused."

Joke #10 (Guest Joke by Jeremy Hornik) - "Though much more daring in design than their American counterparts, Italian automotive interior designers totally misunderstood the actual purpose of the cupholder."

Joke #11(Guest Joke by Jeremy Hornik) - "Well, boys, the Yale Science Club has its first prototype of a robot woman. Look! Boobie clocks!"

Joke #12 (Guest joke by Craig F.) -  "Now turn your head and cough".

Joke #13 (Guest joke by Sue) - "Take a good look at these bodacious dials, boys. They're the closest you're ever going to get to manipulating ANYTHING that looks like a breast!"

 



UPDATE! Due to overwhelming commenter demand (one guy), we are posting the entire ad. "Is it real science?" As real as an ad gets, Mr. Pryor.

3 comments:

Sue said...

"Take a good look at these bodacious dials, boys. They're the closest you're ever going to get to manipulating ANYTHING that looks like a breast!"

Dave Pryor said...

Funny stuff. But where is this from? A movie?

Don't tell me this is "real" science.

Dave Pryor said...

Wow.
"B.S. Degree" is right.

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