New Gigantic Glider-Kite. Protect your tank column or dispose of troublesome light person. Two or more may be used to deal with jerk of ample carriage. Business meaners only, please.
Comb-A-Trim. Previously available as "Coma Trim". Does not induce coma! Just cuts hair. Please order!
Pressure Queen portable air compressor. Through simple"modification", can be converted to Pressure King, which can spray standing up.
Mr. Walker action toy. Walks downstairs. Walks one or two at a time. Fun for boy or girl. Makes metallic sound. Thing. Thing. Wonderful coil. Everyone knows its Mr. Walker. Order today, before lawyers find our office.
Umbrella Hat Cover. Easy to make at home, but I can't be bothered. $1 buys plans to build mysterious plastic hat cover clearly described in detail in ad copy. Order now.