11/4/11

Wype - Paint your car like a lazy dope.

Today, we have a chapter from our country's rich history of sexism in advertising.Good thing it's for a product conceived by a dumbass. Wype auto enamel wants you to paint your car with a rag. "Anyone can do beautiful job" ... even a woman!
I feel obligated to wonder how this product could possibly have worked. But, since we live here in The Future, our advanced perspective generally shows us that, if Wype actually worked, it probably would have survived the test of time. Yes, there are good products that fail, but the obvious stupidity of this product coupled with Wype's historical obscurity makes a pretty strong case in favor of the possibility that Wype Corp went under. So sad. (Not really).

This is one of those ads that looks like twenty smaller ads. The Images and Scanning Them technician had to crop carefully. It was hard to tell where the ad ended. Turns out, it's at the edge of the page. Clearly, Wype didn't feel like paying for professional design.

Honestly, you could spend half an hour reading the ad. In every little box or cloud shape the copy seems to start over: "At last! Practically anyone can now paint his car with WYPE!" Then halfway through the page..."WYPE is a new Miracle Enamel for Autos." A little later... "Start making BIG money now! Sell WYPE in cans or...." A little deductive reasoning tells us that these are all drafts of the same ad. When Wype Corp found that, by not hiring a designer, they could save enough money to buy a full page ad, all the rough drafts became "the ad".

How could Wype possibly have worked? Well, it could have possibly worked like shit, which could possibly be why nobody tries to paint their car with a rag any more... I mean with a powder puff. I really reeeeally want to find pictures of sample Wyped cars on the web, but there doesn't seem to be anything, just pictures of the can. Most of the other Google hits seem to be from people who don't know how to spell "wipe". Thank you, Advertising Industry, for intentionally misspelling words in product names for decades, helping America with the Institutionalization of Ignorance project.

Look for these other intentionally misspelled (and highly trade-markable) words in your local market today!

Krazy, Nite, Sooper, Tuff, Ruff, Nukular (Hat tip to George W. Bush!), Cheez, Beaf, Chik'n, Froot, Ched'r, Flipz (and, really, any substitution of the letter "Z" in place of "S"), Leprosee, Fixin's, Gluttiny, Regurg-i-tayt, Ignurance.


5 comments:

FIL said...

I don't know about you, but when I hear 'wype', one thing comes to mind- QUALITY. It might have been timing that proved to be the downfall of this product. Perhaps 2011 is ready to be wyped.
How is this for a slogan:
"Your car looks like shit. Maybe you ought to WYPE it." Use the Surfaris' hit on the infomercial. Sarah Jessica Parker could be their pitch person. Its gold, baby!

Craig F. said...

"Get beautiful mirror-like finish that looks like spray job!"

Who was their copywriter, Tarzan?

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

I think 2011 is definitely ready for wyping. It could use a finish that looks like spray job. I think that copy this good is the result of a combined efforts of Tarzan, Tonto and Frankenstein.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ubem25WyN8

[-Mgmt.]

Steve Miller said...

When I looked at the large scan, I noticed the dealer listings -- this stuff was sold at frickin' department stores! I buy all my auto body supplies at department stores, don't you?

Guess Walmart wasn't yet a gleam in old Sam's eyes, huh?

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