1/5/12

Little Ads - Disclaimers to innovation.

Science refuses to stop advancing us towards The Future, and Science and Mechanics is there to help Science refuse to stop. Keep informed on all Science's not-advancing refusals by reading the critical innovations of the little ads! Science! Disclaimers may apply.


Space Training for the Small fry.
Disclaimer 1: Not all children are suited to space travel.
Disclaimer 2: May result in Catastrophic Child Inversion Syndrome or amusement. Use only as directed.
Disclaimer 3: Use may result in "the woozies", "icky-tummy", or "spontaneous nutrient jettison".
Disclaimer 3: Not for use in hard vacuum, or in absence of gravity. Not approved for use in place of acceleration couch.
Disclaimer 4: Not for use with space suit.
Disclaimer 5: Party dress may not provide adequate protection from hazards of space travel.
Disclaimer 6: Use of Space-Trainer may not qualify as comprehensive Space-Training. Consult Space for details.

Eat Anything with False Teeth.
Disclaimer 1: Not responsible for consequences of eating absolutely anything.
Disclaimer 2: Not all things with false teeth may be edible.
Disclaimer 3: Not responsible for lack of enjoyment of eating non-food items.
Disclaimer 4: Not responsible for unintended death after combat with British Secret Service Agents..

Baby Training Handle Trains baby without Having to Bend Over.
Disclaimer 1: Construction of Baby Handle may require bending over.
Disclaimer 2: Head notch as shown may be more rounded to accommodate human-shaped baby heads.
Disclaimer 3: Not responsible for results of non-poodle Baby Handle ornamentation. User assumes all responsibility for design variations.
Disclaimer 4: Construction of baby may involve bending over, if you know what I mean.


4 comments:

Jim Dillon said...

Science has let me down! Where was that baby-training handle when I needed it in 1998? Stuck in 1953, that's where!

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

You poor man. Your legs must be all rickets-y and bendy with the lack of plywood walking aidness. Hey, what if you took this copy of Science and Mechanics and cut holes in it, making it a baby handle? Meta, huh?

Thanks for reading, Jim.

[-Mgmt.]

MrsBug said...

Space Training for Small Fry? Why do kids get all the fun!? I have to say I'd totally play on one of those things. And probably end up on America's Funniest Home Videos, unfortunately.

Anonymous said...

Our family had one of those rotating "space trainers" and it was great fun! As we were the daredevils of the neighborhood, we'd take the device off of its stand and roll down a hillside riding it freestyle, you might say. Thanks for the 60s memory!

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