3/21/12

Frontiers of the Advancement of Science's Frontiers


New science stuff today, sent in from our 1957 bureau, stationed in the Eisenhower era. The '57 bureau chief requested we send them a decent television. Sorry, guys, it's against policy. It could upset the flow of history. I'm sure you understand.

Meanwhile, get ready to science up, readers!

With the initial popularity of the Lord of the Rings books, Collins Publishing produced the Porta-Palantir, which allowed lucky owners to easily communicate with Sauron while on the go. The handheld device was powered by Brylcreem.
Michelin announced a breakthrough, by finding a use for post-consumer tires as road material. Minimal processing requirements keep costs and prep time low. Michelin representatives then trumpeted the introduction of new enormous tires compatible with the new tire-based road surfaces, after which they spent several minutes reassuring reporters that they were serious.

RCA records has recalled their entire library of  "Omni-Vox" extra-loud records for the blind. The marketing team at RCA has been sacked, even though executives admit is was "a little funny".

Private "Man Detector" inventor has met with difficulties in testing his invention, as the device also seems to detect women, children, dogs, tables, trees, donuts, staplers, and the Earth itself. The inventor has defended the science behind his device by insisting that "It's a very masculine world we live in".


1 comments:

Fil said...

nice pulls today, Phil.
Whats the dealio with cool cat daddy-o deep-thinker McGee over there. He must have forgotten to put his goatee on.

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