6/18/12

Anacin - DFH twofer.

Disembodied Floating Head news now, from nineteen fifty-four! Anacin can make your head feel better, no matter how hard you grimace! It gives fast relief from neuritis and neuralgia! How fast? Look at the speed lines coming off the "fast relief" letters. That's pretty damn zippy, people! You'd better get out of the way, or you'll have all your ribs shattered by Anacin's speeding pain relief.

Headache ads never use the words "neuritis" or "neuralgia" any more. Why's that? Well, it seems that neuralgia is basically pain caused by a damaged nerve. And neuritis is - let's see here - pain associated with nerve damage. Good times.

If I had to guess, both of those problems are best treated by actual medical attention, from prescription drugs to surgery, and advertisers decided they were playing with fire to suggest that people would be well advised to just treat their problems with over-the-counter Anacin. In short, I think they were afraid of being sued to death by people who got the idea that Anacin was all they needed to treat their conditions. I can't really prove this, but every ad for headache pills on the old radio shows used to use these two words, and now you never hear them any more. There's probably a good reason, and "lawyer's caution" is the standard motivation that makes companies scale back their claims of product effectiveness.

ANYhoo, it's been a while since we had a Disembodied Floating Head worth speaking of around here, and today's are pretty good. They both have no neck, which makes them super disembodied, and these two are actually useful! One's miserable and the other is right as rain.

Thanks to the P.A.G. X-Acto Knife and Photoshop brigade, we are proud to present to our readers these two DFHs as PNG files, on transparent backgrounds in vivid yellowy-white and gray. These heirloom lady head replicas could sell at auction for - literally - tens of cents. We here at Phil Are GO! are authorized to offer them to you for a limited time at the breathtaking price of nothing much. Please right click and "save as" them onto your hard drive of choice while supplies last. Your mouse is standing by. Big and small versions of each. You're welcome.

Serving suggestions for these DFHs include...

-Copy/pasting them in emails to your children to let them know how irritated (or pleased) you are with them.
-Copy/pasting them in emails to let the water department know how irritated you are with them.
-Copy/pasting them in emails to the local authorities to let them know how irritated you are that they asked you to stop harassing the water department with weird cryptic emails.
-Printing them out and gaffer taping them on the windshield of your congressman's town car, because he or she won't go to bat for you in your battles with local government offices.
-Printing them out and pasting them on the windows of your congressman's house to let him or her know that you know where he or she lives.
-Printing them out and holding them over your face to let the jury know how unhappy you are.
-Wishing you had a computer so you could print or email these DFHs to the warden to show him or her how angry you are that you are not allowed access to a computer in your particular wing of the prison.

...and may more!





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