Joke #2 - "Okay, I am now rubbing your fanny with a ten dollar bill. How does that feel? After your reply, one of my colleagues will begin describing a different explicit behavior, and we will await your erotic response. Thank you." - Excerpt from the ruinous phone sex scandal at the Republican National Convention of 1949.
Joke #3 - A scene from one of Apple's very early "one more thing" product launches, in which it is revealed that the iPhone also serves as a potato masher. The crowd was described as "going positively apey" at this news.
Joke #4 - "Please speak very loudly into your receiver, Senator, as if there is no wiretapping going on at all, because there surely is not any of that going on right now, with this phone connection. So, you were saying...?"
Joke #5 has been brought to you by the number three, and by the letter MisterFancyHotBalls_2 - "A phone?!! How the hell did THAT get in there??"