Joke #2 "Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has squozen some kind of weird bulb. So, if someone could come tell me what that means, we could all move on."
Joke #3 - In 1946, the number of midair collisions spiked by "a couple". The FAA responded by mandating the installation of "ahoogah" horns on all planes.
Joke #4 - "EZ-Flite Manual, Step 2: Turn the Flight Indicator from 'DON'T FLY' to 'FLY'. The plane should now be flying. If the plane does not seem to be in flight, check the position of the Flight Indicator. After being set on 'FLY', it should be on 'FLY'. If the plane remains in a state of non-flyingness, have the Flight Indicator checked by a qualified knob technician. Do not attempt to exit the plane before having the Flight Indicator serviced, in the event that the plane is actually in flight. If you are uncertain whether the plane is in flight, please consult supplementary manual 2C: "How High Is Up?" for step-by-step instructions on identifying "flight". Do not attempt to exit the plane before discerning definition of 'flight'..."
Joke #5 - "For safety, the pilot's hat has been screwed to the roof of the cockpit. Please note that in the even of an emergency, the pilot's hat must be unscrewed from the roof of the plane as rapidly as possible."
[Commenter jokes will be added to the post. -Mgmt.]
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