|New "trumpet condom" prevents unwanted pregnancy, unwanted Herb Alpertness.|
|Hilarious "children's chariot" can be easily built by average handyman. Fun for nearly whole family.|
Designer recommends gelding potential steeds for greater manageability, increased show tunes.
|New "anti-window kit" conveniently covers hideous windows, shields homeowner from The Yellow Face, creates ideal space to guard your precious. Manufacturer not liable for treachery from tricksy little hobbitses.|