The Garage Sale and Antique Store Assault Squad has brought us a new cache of ancient greeting cards from the dawn of time (the early 1900s or so). Observe them! Right-click them! Use them for your next birthday or Miscellaneous Obligatory Reward Occasion. Why? because 99% of greeting cards are either wildly unfunny and stupid, or play squeaky music until you shut the damn thing and throw it in the grill. You're welcome!