7/24/13

Old Money

Joke #1 - It had been a good night- lots of sailors in town on leave. Grandpa dumped his take on the table and went upstairs to take about five showers.

Joke #2 - Charlie couldn't believe his eyes. He'd never seen so much money all at once. His head swam with the possibilities this could mean for his family. It had been a long battle to keep his dream alive - the dream of a mom-and-pop nuclear waste facility serving a hometown community. But, the mighty dollar could not be ignored forever. Old man. McCreedy had won. Charlie's Family Funtime Nuclear Waste Emporium would be torn down and an evil retirement community would be built in it's place.

Joke #3 - "There you go, son. I hope this helps the business. It's the money I collected from all those years I was running over hobos when I was delivering pizzas. I've been saving it for you. I guess I should have been running over richer people, but that's hindsight for you, right?"

Joke #4 - "There. Now mow the goddam lawn, son."

Joke #5 - Rob couldn't believe this scam still worked. All he had to do was ask people to "mess up the table with loose cash" and the suckers would happily do it, eager for a demonstration of the Miracle Vacuum Bag.

Fizzy contributes a joke in the form of #6 - "IS THIS ENOUGH?! IS IT?! I'm sorry I never told you about the Tooth Fairy but I can't see how that put you in therapy."

Joke #7 comes to us from frequent flier MisterFancyHotBalls_2. Well joked, sir! - Grandma Mabel looked on in horror as Grandpa Joe dumped out all the money she had saved from hooking while he was at work. She thought he'd never look in that box marked "Mom's Old Undergarments" in the attic.
[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.   -Mgmt.]

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3 comments:

fizzy said...

"IS THIS ENOUGH?! IS IT?! I'm sorry I never told you about the Tooth Fairy but I can't see how that put you in therapy."

(Is Douglas Crockwell a real guy or is it just a Rockwell parody?)

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

We did a little examination of Douglas Crockwell one time:

http://phil-are-go.blogspot.com/2010/06/brewing-industry-association-please.html

Long story short, I think he was a shyster who tried to put up the appearance of distancing himself from Rockwell, all while doing everything he could to be exactly like him. he painted like him, and concocted a VERY similar signature, as you can see in this painting. He was the cheapest kind of hack: one that denies his influences.

Thanks for reading, Fizzy!

[-Mgmt.]

Anonymous said...

Grandma Mabel looked on in horror as Grandpa Joe dumped out all the money she had saved from hooking while he was at work. She thought he'd never look in that box marked "Mom's Old Undergarments" in the attic.

MisterFancyHotBalls_2

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