12/13/13

Little Ads - Song of the wooly bomb hoist.

Raise highly profitable Angora Rabbits backyard easy way. Also see other ad, Learn not use definite indefinite articles. Talk heap faster. Make ad cheap. You talkem heap much like racist stereotype. Puzzle friend, relative. Send today. Also also see other ad, draw rabbit no limb. Feet just nub. Save heap big on ink, pencil. Draw fast. Sentence not make easy read. Much laugh. Delay gratification. Amuse reader sixty year in future.

BOMB HOIST. Ideal for garages (full of  messy, unsorted bombs). Hoist your bombs. Let no bomb go unhoisted! Bomb hoists completely unconnected to Great Tacoma Hoist Explosion of 1950.

Accordion may result in cervical kyphosis. If your neck curvature persists for more than four hours, discontinue use of accordion and seek the assistance of a licensed accordionist, who may prescribe banjo to counteract accordion-associated neck curvature. When neck is once again straight, discontinue banjo therapy or risk over-correction. If counter-curvature, or "banjo neck" results, apply accordion until neck reaches desired degree of straightness.

NEW! MINIATURE DUST MASK Protects against dusts, lint, coal, cement, grain dust. Indirectly prevents pregnancy. Also filters out dignity, pride, will to live, most feelings of positive self-worth. Order today.


2 comments:

Fil said...

I actually came up with the nasal dust mask idea on my own. It stemmed from the hassle of trying to talk to others on jobs requiring masks. Simple questions and responses require you to stop what you are doing and pull down your mask to be understood. I do most of my breathing through my nose anyways. Never acted on the idea. Don't imagine I ever will.

Steve Miller said...

Wonder if the 'bomb hoist" was government surplus. Following WWII and through the mid '60s Army-Navy surplus stores sold -- gasp! -- actual U.S. military surplus. Yes, the counterculture youth wearing Navy pea coats in anti-war demonstrations were ironically-clad... That, I suppose, was part of the garment's appeal. Nevermind it was warm, cheap, and styling'.

Present day surplus stores are largely indistinguishable from Harbor Freight.

Post a Comment