Sorry for the postlessness today, citizens. However, nothing would salve the postless pain like a completely free no-strings-attached Pointy Tree Day Card. Just some kind of actual postal address to firstname.lastname@example.org and we'll put you on the we-don't-give-a-crap-how-naughty-or-nice list for when this year's cards get shipped out. You can use a clothes pin to mount it in the spokes of your bike, for that big motorcycle sound.
No operators are standing by, because that sounds like work, man!