The loving folks at Community Silverplate would like you to know that when you're ready to tell the woman you love that she's the woman you love, they will be ready to help you tell her... with silverware.
You'll put on your best tuxedo (not that shitty one you wore to the Oscars), wrap your apparently nude wife in a black doily, stare deep into her eyes and whisper "Spoons, my darling." You won't want just any spoons, but silver plated spoons, because, after all, this is the post-war boom, and while money can't be said to be no object, it's only a little object.
Please choose your silverplate from our five best-selling patterns: Milady, Lady Hamilton, Coronation, Evening Star, and Morning Star.
But wait, loving customer. If you truly cherish your new lover, you will want to murder anyone that comes near her. There's no greater monument to your love than a pile of visigoth corpses. And, there's no better maker of visigoth corpses than your very own silver plated Community Brand morning star. For a limited time only.
When you run into battle, to harvest blood and souls for your lady love, as is the dream of every girl, you can shout "Spoooooon!" and know that you really mean it. Make this Christmas a special Christmas. Make it a morning star Christmas with the help of Community silverplate. Spoon, indeed.