12/15/14

Kruschen Salts - Got the hump?

You have a creepy leering grandpa-shaped hole in your life and you didn't even know it. Good thing we're here to straighten that out.


"Got the hump" didn't appear in either of the books in the Phil Are GO! Library of Slang and Unconventional English. The Research and Googling Brigade had to resort to a web search...

UK informal
› to get upset and annoyed with someone because you think they have done something bad to you

It looks like this ad is using the expression in a broader down-in-the-dumps sense, implying that bad posture with a humped back indicates that you're bummed out. They just really wanted to use that super hilarious camel joke, obviously.

I'd never heard of Kruschen salts before, and a web search only points to pictures of ads like this one, or pictures of the bottle. A little further digging brings up a list of ingredients. A couple of "alternative medicine" sites talk about the health benefits, but alt med people are superstitious goofs that enjoy magical thinking, like homeopathy. Their recommendation has nothing to do with reality.

The NIH says that ingredients like various sodiums and potassiums mostly treat constipation. WebMD was surprisingly useless for almost all of these ingredients. Ask WebMD what these do and you'll be answered with a "consult your physician". It seems WebMD's lawyers feel that you're better off they're better off with you not knowing about things. Www.drugs.com was much more helpful.

• Citric Acid                            (Neccesary for life)
• Magnesium Sulfate                (Laxative)
• Potassium Chloride                (Benefits kidneys, heart, muscles, nerves)
• Potassium Iodate                    (No such thing. Maybe an outdated name for something else?)
• Potassium Sulfate                   (Laxative)
• Sodium Chloride (table salt)    (Necessary for life.)
• Sodium Sulfate                       (Laxative)

So, mostly Kruschen seems to help "get the train out of the station". And, apparently, this is the face of a blissfully empty station owner. Right click this evacuated gent onto your hard drive because you never know when you'll want to scare the shit out of someone. You're welcome.

Click for big.

4 comments:

Michelle_Randy said...

I find the fascination and obsession with all things fecal/depository by our Victorians and Edwardian ancestors endlessly hilarious.

Also find it amusing that our current fascination with detox diets is as filled with woo-woo 'science' as patent medicines were.

Mat Black said...

Be Happier-Shit More!

Jim D. said...

LBJ once predicted a bill would "go through [Congress] like a dose of salts through a widow woman."

True fact.

And that, friends, is how they make the sausage.

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

By all accounts, LBJ has always seemed a really unpleasant prick.

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