I think a Suburban can still haul plywood. My dad always insisted on owning a Suburban, which was basically a station wagon scaled vertically 140%. In Photoshop, use CTRL+T on a station wagon and just pull the top center control point updwards.
Anyway, this Mercury ad is so weiner-centric, you go through Extra Puberty just by reading it. "A man shouldn't have to treat people like baggage." "A man needs man-sized room". "Other man-pampering features..." Wait, what? I don't recall a need for "pampering" being very manly in any decade. Here's a manly sentence for you: A man shouldn't want to be pampered. Pamering is the kryptonite of toughness, in case you didn't know. This ad reads like someone trying very hard to talk like a guy, who has no real idea how to do it.
This wagon is what we call "a boat", and the copy is not ashamed to admit it. Observe:
Nice try, marketing. That's some heavy spin on the simple reality that there's a huge wood sticker on the side of your car that will dry out, crack, and peel in a couple of years. A man shouldn't have rust bubbles under his pretend wood. Hey-oh!
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