For just $195 (or $1500 in modern FutureBucks) you can get everything you need to develop your own photographs. Don't let your moments go uncaptured. You must go all Pokemon on your various moments by capturing them all! Such moments as.....
Man, those are some great moments, huh? Aren't you glad you were able to capture them with your Complete Home darkroom?
No? You're a cheap bastard? Okay, fine. Have this happy card-holding guy for free. Get your rude finger ready to right-click him into the folder on your hard drive where you imprison your happiest clip art. Our PNG version of him has a transparent background and a blank card, so you can make him say all those things for which you just can't find the words... except that you'd better find the words, because his card is blank. Just find the damn words and write them on the card, okay? Jeez. Such words as...
"I'm sleeping with your sister"
"We're out of pills"
"Your baby is whining again."
"The realtor says our house is sinking."
"I'm sleeping with your brother."
"Guess who lost his job!"
"Hooray for senate subcommittees!"
"Guess who lost your sister!"
"I'm not Fred MacMurray goddammit!"