Joke #2 - "Oh! The T on my jacket? It's sort of a 'scarlet letter' thing. Are you sure you want to know? You may regret shaking my hand."
Joke #3 - The introductions at the Global Conference of Letters were all but complete, with the arrival of the final consonant, and all had gone smoothly. But, the security services were still on edge, as the diphthongs were still on their way, and they were always a wild card.
John Szczepanski sent us a fine example of Joke #4smanship. thanks, john!