6/26/15

Junior's Errand Cart

Readers, I hope you're sitting down. Please stand up and sit down again to be sure of your sittingness. Now, observe with horror this monstrosity from our past: plans to build a cold-war-era shopping cart, just for a boy! Yes, that's right. Children... CHILDREN!...were allowed out of the house, unaccompanied. Wait. it gets worse. The children were sometimes sent on errands DOWN THE STREET... ON THEIR OWN!... to BUY GROCERIES for their PARENTS! You will also want to shout in all caps when you see the horror. Prepare to witness an atrocity. Here are the stolen plans to construct this most hideous of weapons.







These "parents" (humph!) probably didn't even dip the boys in sunscreen before sending them out into the wastes of suburbia. Oh, the humanity. Citizens, it is because of the abduction and presumed devouring of all our school-age boys in The Sixties that the human race died out and there are no more people left. Irresponsible parenting, child slave labor and lack of round-the-clock protection were directly responsible for our extinction. Now you know why you're extinct. You're welcome.



6 comments:

Jim D. said...

There's a lot going on here. The waistband on those pants. The hunched posture. The Brylcreem. The tubercular, wasted face (actually, is that a child at all, or a 40-yr-old jockey?). Are you sure the original plans don't have a hidden compartment for smokes & condoms?

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

You know, it all makes sense now. He could be an adult. As you know, nobody ever grew to their maximum size until they invented organics and non-GMO premium branded foodstuffs!

[-Mgmt.]

Jim D. said...

Cool shoes though.

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

Chucks or PF Flyers?

Jim D. said...

Look like Chucks but the little round rubber decal on the side is gone. Or are they low tops? It almost looks like the decal has been blacked out.

Mat Black said...

I can't get behind this errand cart project unless it has a dedicated attachment point for an M1919 Browning.

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