Hey, citizens! It's Not quite Giant Bird feast and Familial Argument Day, so you know what that means! You're already late with your Pointy Tree Day preparations, you monster! How dare you! Gift ideas shooting into you eye holes immediately. Prepare them to receive irrational exuberance!
But let's move on.
"Hi, honey. Uuuhh... Merry... Christmas? How do you like the potential murder weapon sharpener I got you? Everything seems nice and sharp now - which is good, I guess. I'll be locked in the basement if you need anything."
This grateful wife can't stop staring admiringly up at the coffee maker. Hopefully she got her husband a drill and stud finder so he can move the shelf down to a more sensible level.
It's also possible she just doesn't have her legs on.
"Ah hah hah hah ha hah haaaaah! Who'll join me in a cup of coffee? Why? Because we're celebrating! That's why, you worthless band of nincompoops! Despite your ineffectual bumbling, we've finally got Mister Bond right where we want him. Soon he'll come through that secret door and aim his little pea shooter at me. Then I'll do some light monologuing, explain my sophisticated plans and then feed him to my aquarium full of hermit crabs. Today, we're going to put the "mess" in "ChristMESS! Aaaah hah hah hah hahahahahahahahah! Ssssh! Here he comes!"
A couple of graphic gifts, incoming. You can use these happy ladies to make a litte note to let the staff know that you're out of coffee filters... AGAIN! Honestly, you are surrounded by complete incompetents! Anyway, your first Pointy Tree Day presents from anybody, and you got them right here. You're welcome!
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