Joke #2 - "We are very sorry to hear you are having difficulties with your three-axis trainer. Your call is very important to us. Please remain on the line. If you suspect that your device is actually a two-axis trainer, press one. If you have been scrambled into a hideous pile of goo, press two..."
Joke #3 - "Yes, Don, you probably could touch those things if you stretch a little, but please don't. They're very ticklish. No, don't 'cup' them either. Look, can we get back to the experiment please?"
Joke #4 - May, 1960. NASA builds multi-axis irony trainer to test pilots' reactions to being held pretty much perfectly still a little ways in the air in a fantastically expensive machine. Device was designed to simulate potentially hyper-ironic conditions in orbit.
Joke #5 - NASA is still considering possible names for the new training device. Current favorites are "The Belly-Go-Round", "The Daddy-O", and "The Wacky Circumference".
Joke #6 - "Before we begin, I'll ask you one more time, Don: Did you grab my wife's ass at the Christmas party?"
Joke #7 - "Don, you know you're not allowed to park that in the executive garage, right?"
Joke #8 - The Tesla Model Q. MSRP around $70,000. Zero to sixty in four seconds. Exposing the battery to temperatures below -22 degrees for more than one day will void the warranty. Battery performance degrades up to 30% over eight years. Range is reduced by 40% at any temperature below forty degrees. Running the heater will further reduce the useable range of the vehicle. You want one because your neighbor has one.
Jim D. sent us joke #9, from a distant, nauseated galaxy. Thanks, Jim! Unlike so many other early NASA programs, Project Audiolus was a complete success, and coincidentally it proved the conventional wisdom wrong: In space, everybody can hear you scream. Hear you very well, indeed.
Joke #10. Never one to miss an opportunity for a ball joke, Mr.FancyThreeBallPants_2 does not disappoint. Thanks, MF3B2! NASA tests the multi-billion dollar "Trianglotronic Ballinator", in which the subjects see how many structural triangles can be counted while they are simultaneously hit in the face by three large rotating dodgeballs, which may or may not be a naturally occurring phenomenon in outer space.
[Commenter jokes will be added to the post. -Mgmt.]
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