Gary No! Replant that jailbait-sapling and then find a partner your own age in the singles forest.
Despite his raging root fetish, Gary made sure to spend the first few moments performing a little "trunk action". Sure, he'd head down south before too long...but dammit; he was a gentleman!
Sure his wife was watching through the picture window behind him....but somehow that made Gary even more aroused. He hadn't felt this alive since those crazy days all those years ago in forestry school. He couldn't live this lie anymore! To hell with this stifling suburban wasteland, he thought. He was arborsexual and it was time Betty knew it. There would be changes in their marriage or Gary would be heading to the woods...for good!
Soon they would all understand that odd catchphrase Gary constantly repeated (but never explained)..."I get wood when I get wood."
Wow, mat black, goin' to town!
Man! Mat's going going to brown town with the tree jokes!