5/13/16

Ultimatum in 2050 A.D.

Well, the Phil Are GO! Antique Store and Garage Sale Assault Squad suffered terrible losses to bring to you this Ace Doubles science fiction pulp book, Ultimatum in 2050 A.D. You'd better appreciate their sacrifice.

Click for 1600 px.
Ace doubles were a series of "two in one" books, where the books were sandwiched together to save on printing costs. So, the books have no backs. Both sides of the book are covers. This says something about the target audience for the novel, as well as the liquidity of the readers' assets. The 1965 Ace double Ultimatum in 2050 A.D. was backed with Our Man in Space, which we'll feature in some later post. Hold your horses. Sheesh.

Anyway, these books are valued for their cool/corny cover art. Some people say you could open one up and "read" the "words" inside them, but there's almost no way to verify this. It's probably just a rumor.

Pulps typically have brilliant cover art that is delightfully reuseable as a poster for your band, or a flyer for your church rummage sale. In case you're having trouble knowing when you're looking at a pulp novel, there are a few red flags to know that you've got ahold of a real gem...

1. For starters, ask yourself if the book has another book stuck to its backside. Very few Pulitzer prize winners' first runs were duplexed with another novel in the genre. You won't find a copy of Wuthering Heights backed with She Killed... and Loved It, for example.

2. Does the title seem very excited about the time period? Consider the title of the classic Warner Brothers cartoon Duck Dodgers in the 24th and a Half Century. If a large part of the author's excitement for writing the book stems from the fact that it's in a particular period in time, he or she may not be a volcano of compelling ideas. Confidential Detective in 10,000 B.C., for example, is not a real book, but if it were, one may have reason to doubt the maturity of the story. It's also worth noting that I would absolutely read the hell our of Confidential Detective in 10,000 B.C.. It would also have an amazing cover painting, I promise you that.

Ultimatum in 2050 A.D. ticks both of those boxes with a sharpie the size of your leg. Done and done. Good work, Phil Are GO! Antique Store and Garage Sale Assault Squad! Your men will not have died in vain.

Now it's time for the P.A.G! Graphic Blandishment and Photoshoppery Brigade to make this cover painting slightly more "repurposeable", which isn't a word. Get in here, stat! I need you to do a standard text wipe on this here book cover. Get on it.

Does your phone need a new wallpaper? Does your cookout need a flyer? We've got you covered. Please enjoy a slightly blanker version of this book cover, for your amusement. If Jack Sharkey or some domey-looking robo-aliens show up at your door asking what's up with your copyright infringing ass, I don't know you. You're on your own, miscreant. You're welcome!!!

Here is a serving suggestion for this painting. What will you do with it? The world may never know.




Click for 1600 px.

3 comments:

Mat Black said...

That is perfect! I'm going to save it for a future wedding invitation.

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

Yeesssss, perfeck, mate!

[-Mgmt.]

Steve Miller said...

I would also absolutely read the hell our of Confidential Detective in 10,000 B.C.. Please get busy writing this. Thank You.

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