5/12/16

Up Your Decor - Rooms for improvement!




It's almost the next time of year, decorators! You know what that means! That's right! Time to re-decorate your house  to match the rejuvenation of whatever season is about to happen! Let's fancy!

Those colonials. They were really super at making governments and burning witches, but when it comes to fabulizing an interior, they could be a little boring, right? I mean, swirly furniture is a nice start, but where's the fun? Where's the color, mister whoever-that-is-on-the-twenty-dollar-bill? We updated this classically colonial bedroom by adding lots of color! We covered all the bases of the primary colors by using bright blue, red, and yellow to make this a bedroom that you and your special someone would be proud to legislate each other in!

It can be hard to make a tiny space seem wide, so we used horizontal stripes to make this little room feel like it's miles across! No, that's not a ping pong table, but you'd think it was, because we wrapped it in the same stripey wallpaper! That bookcase isn't really a post-modern arcology. Thank our striped wallpaper again for making it seem simply architectural! Those chairs feel like they're ready for your wide load too, because this wallpaper has matching fabric! Aren't your eyes lucky? This little room seems like ten miles of big, bright excitement!

Thanks for your tasteful garden pavilions, Ancient China! Now get the heck out of the way so we can bring them up to date with an exuberant spurt of color! Hel-looo, yellow! The faux tracery on the walls may require an artist's touch, but don't let your artist start slacking off once that's done! He or she still has your sky to paint! Then, there's the mural of some Chinese people floating around on a slab of rock, just like they did back in history! Once that's done, then the artist can slink off to a dark corner with the opium jar. You know how they are!


2 comments:

Steve Miller said...

These look oddly familiar. Are they from the PAG Dumpster Diving and Cultural Retrieval Team, Central Indiana Unit? They have more crochet patterns for you, I believe. Or maybe it was sewing patterns.

PRE-zent Ric-Rac, Troops!

CEMaine said...

The stripes on the table are going in the wrong direction. It makes my OCD go haywire.
I'm gonna go wash my hands now.

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