Joke #1 - One of the many ugly consequences of over-foresting ladies.
Joke #2 - "Build a bridge out of her!"
Joke #3 - Donald Trump, trying to find some way to discourage his supporters.
Joke #4 - Aw jeez. He really oughta be using a hollow-ground blade, or her edges are just gonna fuzz right up, dontchaknow.
Joke #5 - The Amazing Lester was running out of ideas to get his wife out of bed in time for work.
Joke #6 - Hey, if he's not careful, that one support thingy is gonna bonk her right in the chin and be all dangerous and stuff.
Joke #7 - Sheesh. He ain't even usin' a miter saw! It's gettin' so people don't care how they cut their wife in half no more. Craftsmanship, ya know? Darn shame.
Joke #8 - Sid Caesarean section.
First-time commenter posisbly-long-time reader Andrew H. sent us Joke #9. He's right, you know! Thanks, Andrew! - No safety glasses. No blade guard. This isn't magic... it's just plain reckless.
[Commenter jokes will be added to the post. -Mgmt.]