3/22/17

Car Owner's Handbook - Tube carburetors and body repair.







3/21/17

Animal on the Street - Suspects use Comcast van in burglary!

http://wgntv.com/2017/03/15/suspects-use-stolen-comcast-van-in-bucktown-burglary/




3/20/17

Careful Car Care Made Care Free - Tires and Gears








3/17/17

Charlotte Corday and Marat





Click for kind of big.
Joke #1 - "Ooh, that's a lovely end to your book, honey! 'And they lived happily ever glaaaakkk!' It's upbeat, but still mysterious."

Joke #2 - "You know darling, this is what I love about our relationship. We can just sit together for hours without talking, and just be."

Joke #3 - "Darling, it's half past three. The Girondins will be here in a moment. I do hope you're nearly finished with that silly little 'suicide joke' you've been going on about."

Joke #4 - "Oh! There's that noise again. Is there perhaps someone at the door, or was it the undercooked clams I made for your dinner?"

Joke #5 - "Darling, it's half past three. My parents, sisters, and their nine children will be here in a moment. I do hope you've nearly finished with that sonnet you promised me you'd write about them. ...Darling?"

Joke #6 - "Darling, after your bath, please promise me you'll tidy up those books up on the shelf. One of these days they're going to fall while you're in the tub, and, well, I simply shudder to think."

Joke #7 - "Jean-Paul, my sisters will be here in a moment. I'm going down to put the kettle on. Do please get out of the bath, get un-killed, and please put on the blue waistcoat I laid out for you."

Mr. FancyBubblesNoPants_2, who could not stop if he wanted to, sent us Joke #8, which is a silent but deadly. - "Oh-em-gee! Will you quit doing that Cyril!?! You know I can't open this window!!....Or at least wait until I leave the room, dammit!"


[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.   -Mgmt.]





3/16/17

Careful Car Care Made Care Free - Distributors and magic.








3/14/17

Animal on the street - Atheism and morals.

http://www.latimes.com/nation/la-oe-0115-zuckerman-secular-parenting-20150115-story.html







3/13/17

Careful Car Care Made Care Free - Tires and fluids!







3/9/17

Bike Battery



Joke #1 - "Jeez, I think it's your turn to pedal for a while."

Joke #2 - "You're right. The new riding position is really... Hey! You're not my coach! He's an AC Delco!"

Joke #3 - Using virtual reality, athletes can pretend they're charging a battery on an exercycle in their own home, from the safety of their own home.

Joke #4 - "Coach, I ran into the wall. Now what do I do? Coach?"

Joke #5 - Saaaayyy, you don't qualify as 'mechanical doping', do you?"

Joke #6 comes to us from Mr. FancyInfoPants_2. Thanks, MFIP2! - Photo of a young Vorbia Goatstain demonstrating how the "Super-Battery-Charged Assulator-A-Go-Go" forced her head into a low hanging light fixture, causing irreparable brain and ass damage(c.1967). Goatstain then won the lawsuit she filed against the company, & started the now popular "UP YOUR DECOR" home furnishing page seen here on P.A.G.!!! Way to go Vorbia!


[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.  -Mgmt.]





3/8/17

Up Your Decor - Patterns for Spring!



Good morning decorators! Vorbia here, with another pile of fresh, steaming ideas for your interiors! Well, it's really looking like Spring is about to go "sproink!" around here! What better way to welcome the birds and butterflies into your house than with some fun, splashy designs that are as timeless as they are interesting! That's right! No better way!


How do your eyes know they're alive? I know, it's a question as old as time itself! One thing's for sure,
you'll know they're alive when they're vibrating in their sockets like a couple of bumblebees! Black
against white is the theme for this breezy patio sunroom! That fabulous fabric selection brings so much
 life the space that we ran it right up onto the ceiling! You'll think you've died and gone to visit Genghis
Khan or something! Better put some extra money in the meter: your horse will be parked here for a while!

Ooooo! This lucky room was saved from the boringness of its beige walls by rich blue velvet chairs and matching carpet! Everyone needs a sofa in their bedroom for those kicky laundry-folding parties! Nothing keeps a pattern company like another totally different pattern, and that's what the bed and sofa are doing
for the carpet.

This lucky room also has not one but two paintings by famous artists!...
"Victoria with Two Right Arms" by Arnhelta Fnu...


...and "My love is Like a Sausage
Bound with String", by
Gortrand Drinkwater.

This sun-kissed breakfast solarium is the perfect place to unwind with a glass of cooking sherry or a can of mineral spirits! Whether your game is mahjong or super-crowded-chess, you'll want to stagger around your solar all afternoon, which is just fine, because there's no door! The carpet's flowers keep your mood bouncy, and the sunny walls will have those carpet-flowers positively blooming with springiness! Oh! What's that I see? Another art!!!

Why, it's Blobligliani's "Barbie House in the Triassic"!
This piece is bound to go up in value in seventy million
years or so!

The brightly painted wooden floors of this rustic living room will make you feel like you're sitting on your porch... but with curtains!!! Boldly patterned fabrics and the old-timey, partially-functional furniture
capture that this-house-is-owned-by-an-eight-year-old-girl feeling that simply everyone is going kooky
for this season. Besides, if you really need to take a load off, you can always go sit in the yard!




UPDATE: Diligent Reader John did us the service of removing that boring old floor in the black and white sunroom so that we can all have some fun dressing it up with exciting new spring patterns, everyone! See?

This one now has a jazzy leopard
skin carpet! Rowerr!



Here's the version with a clear floor
so you can play along at home!
How many ways can you
improve it?


3/7/17

Careful Care care Made care Free #4 - The importance of seals.







3/6/17

Careful Car Care Made Care Free #3 - Hand signals.







3/3/17

Careful Car Care Made Care Free #2






3/2/17

1939 Plymouth Halftrack






3/1/17

Country Starin'