Joke #2 - According to my pencil, you're both dying of lead deficiency. He says you both need to erase the past and move on with your lives, and try to eat more lead. Also, his name is Mr. Scritchy.
Joke #4 - Sigh. This is always the hardest part. Mrs. Buckelhenny, you're pregnant. Perfectly healthy baby. Probably a boy. I'd say he'll be a total brat, though. Whiny, spoiled, mouthy. It's hard to explain, so I've drawn this picture of what kind of bratty piece of shit your stupid kid will be. I'm so terribly sorry.
Joke #5 - Well, Mr. and Mrs. Torso, the procedure was a success. You may have some bleeding over the next few days, but this is normal. All that remains for you to do is to go home and learn to live again, without your legs or pelvises.
Joke #6 - I'm sorry Mr. Grundun. You've already had a vasectomy. There's no such thing as "a backup vasectomy".
Joke #7 - Well, you did pretty well on your test, I guess. You got twelve wrong, though, which gives you both a score of....sixty percent. So, it's cholera for the both of you. I'm so sorry.
Joke #9 - Well, these things are hard to nail down, but your test results are pretty clear. You're both total squares. Repressed, boring, and lacking any sense of adventure. Fortunately, this is 1951, so no one will notice your condition for another fifteen years or so. Congratulations. You can pick up your complimentary Mills Brothers record at the nurse's desk.
Mrs. Vonbronsonson looks like she's a Russian assassin and it about to pull an ice pick on Dr. Pencilcase!!
ReplyDeleteBravo! Every part of today's offering is rib-tickling, Mr. P-are-G. I was guffawing from the start, with your 'take the chair' joke. Yessir, today's breakfast was fortified with vitamins P, A and G.
ReplyDeleteAs your bizarro self, I tried to muster up my own silly narrative, which never works. I don't remember the scant few, but I recall one had to do with Art Instruction School/ Draw Tippy, and another resulted in Mr. Mann being informed he had a 'severe case of pencils'.
Like I said, nothing I come up with can compete with such comedic gold as, "...so I've drawn this picture of what kind of bratty piece of shit your stupid kid will be." That one triggered an explosion of milk and cereal out my nose, thankyouverymuch.
What lovely man-hands on the Mrs.
ReplyDeleteDoctor jokes are always super easy to do. I credit the material. Thanks for your continued and repeated reading, everybody!
ReplyDeleteAnd hey... if you think of jokes, don't forget them. Throw them in the comments so they're not lost in the mists of time!
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Well, Mr. and Mrs. Jehosavamsoneron, you can see by the stick figure I've drawn here...uh...hold on...*brrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaapppppp*...hooee. Marge's chili. Who's got a match? HAAAA HA HAAAA HAAA HAAAAAAAAA...where was I? Oh right, your colon.
ReplyDelete