The Gospel according to Kneel.

Joke #1 - "You mean that guy's coming BACK? Oh no..."

Joke #2 - ... and until he found out who sawed the legs off the altar, Father Vosfon would kneel to read, letting the guilt tear the parish apart.

Joke #3 - "Ah! Here it is! 'Pederast: A man who has sex, usually sodomy, with a boy as... the... passive ... partner...' Uh oh."

Joke #4 - "Vow of POVERTY? I thought it was 'property'! God dammit! Get the Vatican on the horn, stat!"

Joke #5 - "'... and they brought down their pantaloons, and didst they mightily spank one another, for they were naughty, and it was good.' This has been a reading from the book of Saint Lascivious, and I cannot stand up for a while. Let us now sing hymn number six; 'Your thighs are like two gazelles'."

Joke #6 - "Oooo, this is getting good. 'You've been a part of my plan all along, Harry. You're a parselmouth, just like me. Did you think this was coincidence? he rasped...' "

Joke #7 - "Brother Maynard, please refrain from covering your face during the reading of the Scary Beatitudes. They're not the 'Terrifying Beatitudes' for chrissakes."

Joke #8 is from Sue. Thanks, Sue! "Oh, Father Dunne SOOO won't be able to tell I'm sleeping!"

[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.   -Mgmt.]