New Melton Pocket Movie Viewer allows enjoyment of prurient movies anywhere. Bystanders need never know you're doing something illicit, unless betrayed by sneaky grin on face. Audio not supported. Manufacturer suggests falsetto voice muttering sweet nothings to yourself, as inspiration.
Inflatable cornice resembles thick tufted material. Only requires re-inflation every 72 hours. Doubles as flotation device in case of total house submersion. Can be filled with helium to ease load on unstable foundations.
German floating motor propels swimmer, or "shvimmer". Motor unit floats on surface of water or "vasser". Air for motor is drawn through a T-shaped snorkel, or "shnitzel". Eliminates need for inflatable cornice flotation devices, advertised above. Can aid in rescue of swimmers drowning in shallow water, within twelve feet of device. Footage of girl also available as 8mm film for use in Melton Prurient Pocket Movie Viewer, advertised above
Survival Ration Lasts Six Days. Can store food and drink for six days, eliminating the need for emptying coffee cans and painting with special enamel. Ideal for those who enjoy putting small cans inside larger cans, and then removing them. Moustache included.