Graphic Gift - Grief-stricken clip art.

Everyone here at GO! Tower is preparing for the Second Invitational Intern Olympics, scheduled for this afternoon. The Research and Googling team has trained up a mighty contender for the stapler biathlon. They're no match, however, for management's thoroughbred counter-wiper, Gary. It should be a marvelous afternoon's sport.

In the meantime, please enjoy this Graphic Gift in the form of a vintage 1957 clip art of a miserable lady. She can be used to adorn your notes and memos, to make sure everyone knows how much light they bring to your day.  1600 px tall and 400 px tall. You're welcome!

Victorian Porn Titles.

Time's short today. My office is being downdated with paneling and an avocado green coffee maker. So, today's post is just words. Please enjoy these Victorian-Era porn titles.



-The Bawdy Bussel of Lady Edith Crotchworthy

-Which Fanny?

-Ankle-Length Bloomers 3

-Rather Rubenesque!

-Soot Fetish Monthly

-Powderless!

-The Unbuttoned Shoes

-Well-Fed Maidens

-Such a Situpon!

-Gloriously Gap-Toothed 8

-The Fantastical Tales Mr. Johnathan Thomas's John Thomas

-Oliver's Twist

-The Gluttonous Guttersnipe

-The Lewd Extravagances of Doctor Horton Wienerbottom

Chicago is set to be rectally violated by a huge snow storm today, so the whole staff has been reassigned to the task of shoveling the promenade and commons area of Go! plaza. So, in keeping with the theorem of something>nothing, here is a thing.
Apparently there was some significant "snow event" in '54, possibly brought about by the enormous dimensional rift in the sky, seen just below the picture of Doyle Brunson.

The homeowner can be seen shoveling his roof, leading us to believe that in years gone by, people parked their cars on the roof, or that helicopters were a more common mode of transportation in the past. Research on that is pending.

Also of note is the fact that the newsboy in the red coat is making his rounds, delivering the morning dog. News was often delivered via dog in rural parts of America, with the animal barking out notable events of the day to each citizen in turn. This practice was abandoned due to problems with dog memory, difficulty teaching a dog an entire newspaper of text each day. Long after the heyday of the newsdog, many printed news outlets still dedicated large portions of their publications to trivial concerns like the smells of various butts and rolling in your own feces. Some traditions die hard.

Quick Cadillac

Late start this morning. Here's a Cadillac ad to stare at. I don't like Cadillacs, and never really have. The new ones are so boxy that they look like buildings. Cars should not look like buildings. This example is from 1952, when Cadillacs were bulbous, phallic, and largely fulfilled the wishes of most American male car buyers. Note the two chrome tits on the bumper. Classy! When one person calls "fun" and "exciting", another person sees as "juvenile". Anyway, it's a nice eyeful.

Cadbury Chocolate - Gimme.

Time is short this morning, so today's post is a joke-free quickie. I have jury duty today. Gotta go fight crime the American way. At best, I'll sit around for eight hours and be sent home. At worst, I'll be trying to think objectively about a petty crime in a room of eleven mouth-breathing troglodytes .

Its a Cadbury's milk chocolate ad from the English magazine, Picture Post (1951). One would be able to tell from context that it's an English magazine by the use of the word "biscuits". That's what they call cookies over there. So what's a biscuit then? A scone, unless I'm misinformed. What's a cracker? A crisp. Any English readers are welcome to correct me if I'm wrong, or to just call me a bloody loudmouth Yank.

Its a Hand-painted ad, and gorgeous because of it. There's some excellent work here, especially in the foil wrapper and chocolate's sheen. Enjoy.

P.S. I've noticed that in yore, the manufacturer was more often presented in the possessive. "Cadbury's chocolate". "Lipton's soup". I have no theory. Only an observation.

Back to normal tomorrow with more jokes. Thanks for reading, everybody!

Philco refrigerator - Just a quickie.

Time is short again this morning, so instead of posting nothing at all, here's a nice ad for a Philco fridge. It features a nice re-rendered photograph. It doesn't really deserve any jokes, so if it weren't for quick posts like this morning, it may not have been used, otherwise. More jokes tomorrow.