10/11/10

Pazo Hemorrhoid Cream - Butt hunting.

"Yaaawwwn. Well, another Monday morning as an editor at a small-ish advertising firm in 1960. I sure had a nice time at that cocktail party on Satrurday, talking to that nice couple from across the street about how words placed next to pictures create an association in the mind of the observer. Fascinating stuff. Ah well, what's first for today?"
"Oh yeah, I left this hemorrhoid project half finished on Friday. Sigh. No picture. What to do? These guys from Pazo don't have much to spend on art. Preparation H has been eating their lunch. Pazo is hoping to get a foothold in the midwest with this campaign, but jeez, you gotta spend money to make money."

"Hmm. What've we got lying around? Umm. This stack of airplane pictures from that democratic rally at the airport last month. No connection there. Oh hey! We just got that book of old woodcuts of sportsmen! Where did I leave that? *Click* Jane? Do you remember where we put that book of old woodcuts? The one Troy picked up in Philly? You know, from that stock images company? Yeah, thanks, doll. I need a quick finish on the Pazo piece for no money. That's the one. You're a treat, Jane. *Click*."

"Let's see. Race drivers.... nah. Jockeys... nope. Cyclists... no. Come on. I just need something that says "My ass neither hurts nor itches." Pilots... nope. Bobsled guys... naw. Oh hey! A hunter! He's perfect! Look at him, all tweedy and proud, with his knees bent in an alert crouch like he could happily sit down at any moment.  He looks he could wipe all day without discomfort! Fudd, you're going in!"

*Click* "Jane? Can you contact the guys who made this book and see if we can work out a deal to use a picture in exchange for six hundred tubes of Pazo hemorrhoid cream? We gotta get rid of these stupid samples, and the budget on this job is dry as a bone. Lemme know how it goes babe. If we can't use this hunter, I'll be having my damn kid draw something for this ad. *Click*. Stupid cheapskates. What time is it? Hey ten-thirty! Time for drinks!"

*Click* Jane? I'm beat. I'm taking an early lunch. Look, if the stock art guys bite on this hunter picture. Ship out this box of butt cream to them  pronto and have an intern do the paste-up for the ad. Have someone come up with some copy that helps explain the picture. Something about enjoying sports. Get the intern to do it. I'm sick of thinking about it. Thanks, babe.

"Aaah. Some days I really feel like I earn my eighteen grand a year in 1960 dollars. I love being an ad guy."

END

0 comments:

Post a Comment