More help from our friend The Seventies today. Today he wants to help you "boy up" an otherwise featureless white room... with minimal time, money, and give-a-damn-ness.
Step 2 - Boys like stripes, right? Cars have stripes. At least, the fast ones do. So, some vertical stripes will help those closet doors look more racy. Be sure to measure the width and spacing of the stripes carefully before painting. Since you're living in 1971, the stripes will be perfectly irregular by the time you get done with them.
Step 3 - Paint your stripes. Make some red for racyness and some black, to remind your boy what life will be like behind bars, when he's inevitably arrested for possession of whatever he finds in your dresser.
Step 5 - Woops! We're done! See how easy that was? Throw some books on the desk, and don't forget the scissors. He'll need those to hollow out the books for hiding his stash. Make it easy for him to choose an obvious hiding place. That way, you'll always know where to steal back the drugs he stole from you. It's the circle of life.