5/23/11

The Wonders of Our Science

Incoming scientific wonders. Brace for wonder. Three. Two. One. Wonder.
Joke #1 - "Uuh, ma'am, I think this fell out of you. I hope you're a robot."

Joke #2 - "Aww, bummer. Miss, I came here today to field test my new underwater babe detector and you just overloaded it. Soooo, how are you going to make it up to me? I said 'How are you going to make it up to me?' Hello?"

Joke #3 - "Yeah, I guess my Underwater Neutrino Collection Apparatus is pretty big. But you know what? I have an even bigger one at home..."

Joke #4 - "Found her, Ned. The detector say's she's the one. You call her parents and I'll start draining the pool. The Health Department's going to have a field day with this one."

Joke #5 is from Sue. Thanks, Sue! - "My lipstick tube is bigger than yours."


Joke #6 is from Phil Jr. Thanks PJ! - Carl was humiliated the night the fire department was called to 'extract' him from the intake port in the wall of his pool. Vowing never to experience such embarrassment again, Carl invented the AquaSuck 500, portable pleasure device. "Feels so real, I was clutching for the edge of the pool" said Eddie Hogan of Consumer Reports.


Joke #1 - "Yep. It stinks all right. And now my thermometer stinks too. Great."

Joke #2 - "Well, it could be a problem with the Limb Identifier, but apparently my foot is actually a misshapen, misplaced hand. Better play it safe and call the surgeon."

Joke #3 - "Yep! Still my right foot."

Joke #4 - "Well, now my shoes won't fit. What the hell was I thinking? Hold me down while I tear this thing off."

Joke #5 - "Well, it could be a problem with the Limb Identifier, but apparently my hand is actually a perfectly formed, misplaced foot. How the hell did I build the Limb Identifier with only one good hand?"

Joke #6 - "Hmm! Cankles in T-minus five years."

Joke #7 is from Phil Jr. Thanks PJ! - Pic 2: Dateline: Hollywood... Ever the trend-setter, Sarah Jessica Parker has a tachometer embedded in her face. 

[Commenter jokes will be added to the post   -Mgmt.]

4 comments:

Sue said...

My lipstick tube is bigger than yours.

Phil Jr. said...

Pic 1: Carl was humiliated the night the fire department was called to 'extract' him from the intake port in the wall of his pool. Vowing never to experience such embarrassment again, Carl invented the AquaSuck 500, portable pleasure device. "Feels so real, I was clutching for the edge of the pool" said Eddie Hogan of Consumer Reports.

Pic 2: Dateline: Hollywood... Ever the trend-setter, Sarah Jessica Parker has a tachometer embedded in her face.

Phil Are Go! said...

My God, Sarah Jessica Parker is a frikkin troll. I had a crush on her when she was young, Circa L.A. Story. Why does she still get to be treated as "beautiful" by makeup companies and US Magazine? She looks like Dee Snieder. Know what? I'm not gonna take it any more, Sarah! You're UGLY!

Phil Jr. said...

Funny how similar we are...
Your Twisted Sister nod reminded me of this knee-slapper from our friends at The Onion.

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