Joke #1 - De Beers. Because a very common stone, used as a monetized symbol of personal suffering and financial sacrifice, made obligatory by a spectacular marketing campaign, artificially rarefied by a global monopoly with historically unethical business practices is forever.
Joke #2 - "See? This is the ring from my last husband. You can do better, can't you darling?"
Joke #3 - It was perfect. The stone, the setting, and the weight were all perfect. This ring would look amazing sitting in the window of the other pawn shop three years form now.
Joke #4 - Mr. Grumsch wouldn't sell any ring until he had personally "pinkied" it himself. It was his way.
Joke #5 - "It's wonderful, darling. I really love it. But... we could get a bigger stone if you were willing to suffer a little more. Don't you love me?"
Joke #6 - "And this one we call 'the Precious'. You won't believe how it will make you feel. Go ahead. try it on. I think you'll find the size is just right."
Joke #7 - "Son, do the right thing. Every thousand you spend on the ring is another year before she cheats on you."
[Commenter jokes will be added to the post. -Mgmt.]