10/27/16

Kendall Motor Oil - Rich, creamery oil.

Is your car carrying around any Kendall motor oil in its veins? Probably not, but you should save their avatar, at least.


"Time for an oil change?" It's twenty-five miles o'clock! You'd better change the oil!

Kendall Oil still exists... sort of. It seems that Phillips 66 owns them now. Good for them! It seems that their website is an error message. Not good for them!

But who cares, really? I suspect that a lot of companies have websites simply because they'd be embarrassed if they didn't, because not having one is old fashioned. I happen to pour Castrol into the Phil Are GO!-Kart, but I've visited the Castrol web page exactly zero times. Why would I? So, I'm liking Kendall's site more and more, now that I think about it. They're too busy making oil to oworry about some stupid runtime error on their site that no one needs to go to anyway.

And they're making it from only the richest, butteriest creamy oil, from... "Penna"?


Since when did we abbreviate "Pennsylvania" as "Penna"? Honestly, I don't know how anybody ever got their mail with a stupid abbreviation like that on the envelope.

Anyhoo, the real reason for visiting this ad is the bright and well-oiled lady in the circle. She'd make a fine profile picture for FaceTube or some kind of Instant Message Thing or whatever, wouldn't she? Especially if you're a bit of a gear head lady yourself. Some hero should shout at his staff of worker bees to pop her out of the image and serve her up all circular and alpha channeled. Sigh. Some day...

...is NOW! Psych!

Hey! Graphic Blandishment and Photoshoppery Brigade, get off your butts! I wanna see some circular marquee in here, stat! Move it!


Click for 1000 px PNG.

Click for 1000 px JPG.

Look at her, all wind blown and care free, with her driving gloves and her delicious neck grapes. She's a dream. I'll let you make your own lubricant jokes here. I'm taking the high road.

The jpeg version is for just in case your Online Time Toilet Service of choice is really stupid and doesn't understand images with transparency. You're welcome!

This little hand presents us with a bit of a mystery. It obviously wants us to feel as if everything is okay - hence, its vee fingers. But the hand has what appear to be seams where you would expect to see them if it were a glove. Fine. But then why does it have frikkin fingernails? What kind of monstrous freak show are you running here, Kendall? Did the execs at Kendall wear gloves made out of human hands when changing their oil, to keep their real hands clean?

The hell with you, Kendall. Castrol presents me with no nightmare clip arts like this.


1 comments:

Mat Black said...

Now find rock and a paper clip art.

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