Joke #2: "Awww, honey... you popped my favorite pimple! Now what am I supposed to sing show tunes to?"
Joke #3: GE's new Smuglamps will give you that smug douchebag look all year 'round! Just three exposures per day of one hour each, and GE's patented Smugwaves will penetrate and nourish your skin, turning you a rich, smug douchebaggey color that your wife/mistress/girlfriend/genetic clone will absolutely adore!
Joke #4: Honey, your tie's crooked. Let me fix it for you, but please don't headbutt me. Hey! I said DON'T headbu- *thunk!*
Joke #6: "I'm sorry, sweetie-pie. They don't allow children in Florida. Here's a sunlamp and a little beach ball. Water's over there, in the toilet. We'll see you in a week, okay? Aww, that's my little angel."
Joke #7: Are you tired of other babies getting all the attention from women? GE's sunlamps are now approved by GE for baby use! Your baby will be a healthy bronze color and h - o - t, hot! Don't wait up, mom! Junior's got a date, heh heh!
Joke #8: "I'm sorry sweetie-pie. They don't allow semi-amphibious subterranean wretches in Florida. here's your Precious, and I'll turn on the Yellow Face to keep you warm. Fish are over there in the toilet. We'll see you in a week, okay? Aww, that's my little Smeagol."