8/25/10

Kids clothes 1973 - Future nerdfect.

Greetings, colonists! Today, the Astronet brings you tidings of the most current garments for your younglings! Life on the offworld outposts can be rough-and-tumble, so protect your young while assuring their attractive appearance for the mate-choosing ritual! Let us observe the new designs immediately!

Your non-male youngling will be luminously lovely in this unity smock and trouser. Fabric is stain-averse Moleculon fiber, so no more soiled knees after participating in thrice-monthly hydroponic gathering! Green color reminds observers of the green hills of Earth while denoting your family's status as a level three, such has been deemed necessary by the Grand Observer. The white trim on the upper segment features a single chest roundel, indicating her optimal Tested Genetic Viability level. Let her pride show through the roundel! Her robot friend is wearing our new "retro Earth pinafore", as is the fashion for sub-humans this orbiting cycle.

Little boy blue, come blow your recreational sphere into fullness! Your brave little micronaut will be attractively adequate in this soft tunic and micro-pant. Both are matching Softoid Radion fabric simulant, providing comfort as well as nine-spectrum radiation shielding from seasonal near-orbit nova emissions. Abdominal pocket holds his oxygen dome access keycard, seeds, or other treasures. A decorative apple-berry reminds viewers of our shining hope of a return to an agrarian economy. Tunic can be removed for virility displays, as shown.

To become eligible for these fine garment units, see your object registrar and simply fill out the requisition form, and transmit
your inquiry via the next communications beam.


3 comments:

Phil said...

"Tunic can be removed for virility displays, as shown." !!@#&+!*&@gaahaaahaa
Comedy hall of fame right there, Phil.

Craig said...

"Little boy blue, come blow your recreational sphere into fullness!"

Holy crap, I think I just peed my pants.

Oh, my sides hurt.

Phil Are Go! said...

Thanks guys! At first I wanted to talk about the beach ball as some kind of "nutritional drinking bulb", but "recreational sphere" just rolls off the tongue.

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