10/14/10

Arrow Shirts - Look better ignoring your wife.

Why did Arrow choose to use this picture to sell shirts? You can barely see the shirt - just the collar, really. And then there's the woman in the background trying to get some attention. It's weird.

The guy's 100% 1962, though. He kind of looks like George Lazenby, who wouldn't play James Bond until 1969 in On her Majesty's Secret Service, the "orphan" Bond movie. Lazenby only did one of the films and lots of people don't like it. I like the Swiss setting and the weirdness of the allergic institute, with Blofeld as the director.

Anyway, I'd love to get a suit cut like the ones in the sixties. Small lapels, narrow cuffs. I guess I'd have to have one made custom, which would run into big money, which means I don't want it badly enough to do it. Pity. Sean Connery always looked good in suits like that.

Anyway again, why put the sad yellow lady in the picture? She seems to be trying to get the model to look at her. But nope, George is too busy thinking about how good he looks. I wonder what they might be saying? Doodley doodley doodley doodley.....

"Honey, I found some lovely ruins over here! Come and look at them with me!"

"Not just now, dear, I'm in reverie. Thank god for my Tabber Snap collar."

"No, really! They're totally broken and stuff. I think they're made of stone. Won't you help me wonder about them?"

"Mmmmm. I wonder what I'm doing later on? I can hardly keep my hands off me.  Maybe I'll buy myself dinner and make out with me."

"Darling! This big thingy seems to have fallen over at some point! It must have been all the history around here that knocked it down. Could you take a picture of me next to history?

"I can't believe I only paid five dollars for this shirt. Surely I deserve more, and yet I can't see why I'd pay extra when I get so much value from this 100% cotton Supima."

"Wheee! I'm frolicking on the ruins of a dead culture, honey! The pages of time fall away like leaves and everything! Care to come marvel at the ages or something? Honey???"

"Hmm. Could be insects around here. Good thing my Arrow shirt is Sanforized. I wouldn't dream of coming here unsanfored. I'm going back to the hotel for some afternoon delight. I deserve me."

"Hey! wanna go for a boat ride? There's a little man with a motor launch for hire. A skinny man with two-tone shoes."

"Honey! I'm leaving you for myself. You don't understand me like I do. I'm sorry you had to find out like this. We both know this isn't working, it's nobody's fault, it's not you it's me, you can have the house. Don't look for me at the hotel. I'm getting a room with me in another part of the village. Goodbye!"


2 comments:

Craig said...

Hey, I have a Phil-Are-Go special shirt request:

How the hell come all Hathaway Shirt ads featured a guy with a goddamned eye patch?

http://katharinemiller.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/30558299.jpg?w=327&h=451

I must've been about seven years old, and we were up at my family's place in Wells, Maine. We pulled into the local shopping center and they had a Hathaway Shirt store (another thing. A whole store that not only just sold shirts, but one BRAND of shirts. Cripes! "Welcome to Gold Toe Left Size Ten Sock Store, the store that only sells Gold Toe left socks in size 10!")

The thing I remember about that place was the dude with the eye patch. He was everywhere! on the sign, in the ads, on the label of the shirt.

What the hell happened to that guy? Did he get his eye shot off in the war? Was he so appealing in that shirt that some crazy broad clawed his eye out for looking so good? Was he born without an eye? Did they not have glass eyes?

What the hell is going on?

Phil Are Go! said...

He's the owner of the company: Mr. Hathaway Shirtberg. He was born with the deformity of two left eyes. He wears the eye patch to hide the shame of god's greatest mistake.

Missed opportunity: No Hathaway puffy-sleeved pirate shirt in their product line.

Thanks for posting, Craig!

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