Prince Albert - Turns women on.

Well, the PAG Double Entendre and Innuendo Department (DEID) are popping champagne corks over this one. Today we have for you a dirty little gem of eyebrow-waggling magnitude. Prince Albert tobacco.

Prince Albert used to be a prince. The husband of Queen Victoria, to be exact. Then he was a tobacco, generally sold in tin cans, as seen in the ad. Then he was a phone prank, usually used on store clerks: *Ring!* "Hello?" "Hello, sir. Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "Why, yes, I believe we do." "Well, you'd better let him out then!" *click*.

BAW haw haw haw! Yep. That was terribly clever for a fourteen year old kid in the forties.

Then, beginning in the nineties or something, Prince Albert became a certain kind of thing that some men do to their wieners with a piece of stainless steel. If you're old enough to want to know, you're old enough to do a Google search and find out for yourself. You'll find pictures that make you grit your teeth and sharply suck in your breath.

If you imagine a... uuh... let's see. Well, first imagine a snake. Then imagine him eating a curved steel bar. Imagine the curved bar poking him in the bottom of the mouth, and coming out under his chin, at the top of his throat. The snake now has one end of the bar hanging out of his mouth and one end sticking out through his throat. Now, put a little steel ball on either end of the steel bar like a dumbell and you've got it. The snake is a man's wee-wee. Hooray! Sexiness! Look it up on Wikipedia for fun little quirks like how tricky it can be to go to the bathroom with this thing in place. Beware. There are pictures.

The woman in the picture has this knowing smile, like she's thinking about something other than tobacco. Wikipedia claims that some women enjoy a guy with a prince albert piercing. Looks like the woman in the beret is into it, big time. Well done, the PAG Double Entendre and Innuendo Department. Now calm down and get back to work.