Joke #2 - "Let me know when you're done crocheting the crossword. Oh, hey... could you put in fewer questions about the middle East tonight?"
Joke #3 - "Oh, Judy, I'll be ever so glad when your other father comes back from the shop. This loaner model squeaks when we... uh... 'hug'".
Joke #4 - "Mom, Dad... I've decided to give myself up for adoption. Don't worry. It's nothing you did."
Joke #5 - "Honey, guess what? I got a raise today and I think we can afford it. So, I've decided to grow a second moustache!"
Joke #6 - "Thanks for being so good about my shadow coming to dinner on such short notice, dear. He says our souls were delicious..."
Joke #7 - They all went silent. Judy was still laughing at mother's story about the funny dog she saw, but she knew it was time to be quiet. The clock ticked. Margaret held her breath. Where had she written down the priest's number? She knew by the look on David's face that he was about to have an emotion.
Joke #8 - "My knitting's almost done! Judy, be a dear and step into the other room while your father tries on his new thong."
Joke #9 - "Mom, Dad... We're doing okay, right? ...because Dad got a raise today, right? Well, I've been thinking of having a second dolly. There's an awfully nice boy at school who wants to be the father."
Joke #10 - Margaret put down her crochet and sighed. He "didn't give a damn" about the roast beef. He "didn't give a damn" about the neighbor's dog, or hosting bridge night. It was still within the thirty day trial period. Maybe she'd send back her Clark Gabletron and exchange him for the Buster Keatontron? The sex would surely be better, for one thing.
Joke #11 Submitted by Fil, who is not to be confused with our founder, although he may very well be GO! - Mother and little Katie were still able to put on a fake smile whenever the late Alan Hale Jr's shadow would, once again, begin to ramble on about "little buddy" this and "dooop!" that. Father's feigned interest was getting less believable every time.
[Commenter jokes will be added to the post. -Mgmt.]