Gloria Vanderbilt - Relaxed, simple fashion for any occasion.

Hey there, forward-looking fashionistas! It's time to learn from the past about looking sensible and elegant all day, every day! How do you do that? Let Gloria Vanderbilt show you how in 1968! You'll feel free and easy and look like a million bucks, even if you only have several hundred million!

As everyone knows, when you're so rich that you've never had to think about money, you immediately become a genius at everything, all your opinions are well-reasoned and insightful, and everyone needs to do whatever you say. Nobody knows this like Gloria Vanderbilt! So, shut up and say she's creative. You won't regret shutting up and saying that.

Gloria's look in this outfit takes it's inspiration from... well whattya know?... her own painting! This look is just the thing when you're quickly running out for a few groceries, dropping the kids off at polo practice, or just taking your favorite painting out for a walk. Everyone will wonder what's on your mind!

It all begins with basic black leggings of black velvet. Everyone knows that less is more.. and less is WAY more when it's velvet. Add to that some thigh-high pirate boots for high-seas practicality and you've got the foundation that will have everyone hoisting their flags! Don't forget some pilgrim buckles or the indians won't share their maize with you.

The blouse is an eighteenth century burial gown with a kicky lace lampshade sewn on as a collar. As you can see, Gloria felt that it was pretty fancy already, but not quite fancy enough without some multicolored ribbons adorning the elegant multi-tiered doily sleeves. We're on a hovercraft to classytown!

Its time for a splash of color, so grab some three-inch satin ribbon and make yourself a bandolier, or sash or whatever. Then, choose a belt of classic simplicity from your belt vault. As you can see, Gloria has chosen her opalized ruby and gold filigree girdle. It gives her a +3 modifier when making saving throws against psionic attacks AND really pops against the red sasholier! The pendant was made from six smaller pendants. If you don't have six pendants, you can just use six of your bottle openers. Be careful when soldering. It's hot!

Top it all off with a shoulder-draped set of striped curtains and you're ready for any occasion. You can wrap the curtains around you if the evening turns chilly or simply give it a shake to punctuate particularly incisive observations.

Complete your look with the right stance. Gloria's bold pose says "I'm striding, but I'm also standing. Don't pin me down, because I take myself really seriously and everything." It's a pose that gathers all her energy in her pelvis where it can be used to blast her critics.

Where have you been blasting YOUR pelvis energy?


Unknown said...

Due to the civil lawsuit and the state laws enacted in 2010, I am no longer allowed to blast my pelvis energy ANYWHERE, sir.

Thank you for opening an old wound.

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