5/22/13

Allosaurus 1949 - Dem dry bones.

Joke #1 - "This skeleton was found, almost complete, in New Orleans. Notice how small and underdeveloped the front limbs are. This can only mean that the Allosaurus was completely incapable of playing the trombone, leading to it's eventual extinction."

Joke #2 - "Some say these marks on the claws are evidence of some great battle with another dinosaur. But, we're not fooled. Here at the Discovery Institute, we know that those marks were made by Jesus when he carved the bones from wood and buried them in the ground to test our faith. It's just one of his many devious hobbies, trying to trick us because he loves us so much and stuff."

Joke #3 - Evidence of an extinct race of hideous folding skeleton monsters, who apparently slept in a flattened state under many layers of sedimentary rock.

Joke #4 - "...And since we know that the Earth is only 5,000 years old, the carbon data suggest that these 65-million year-old skeletons traveled here from space, colonized the young Earth and made themselves extinct because of their terrible skin shortage."

Joke #5 - "Now, some 'scientists' will tell you that the dinosaurs suffered a catastrophic extinction event, killing off the largest species, leaving the smaller dinosaurs to evolve into birds. But, I believe it's clear that they all survived the meteor strike and simply evolved into skeletons."

Joke #6 - "Now this big fella, with all his bones and such, is the one we call the 'bone-o-saurus'. We're still not sure what to call the rest of the specimens, but we feel we're off to a good start."

Joke #7 was submitted by Misterfancyhotballs_2. Thanks Fancy! - "You see being a Scientist and all, I can pretty much say without a doubt, that this 'Allan-sore-ass' died in this very spot! Probably when that pipe you see sticking out of the floor there pierced him directly in his 'esophla-thingus'- That means 'throat' for all you not versed in the Scientifical termincology"

[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.   -Mgmt.]

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1 comments:

Anonymous said...

Joke #7 - "You see being a Scientist and all, I can pretty much say without a doubt, that this 'Allan-sore-ass' died in this very spot! Probably when that pipe you see sticking out of the floor there pierced him directly in his 'esophla-thingus'- That means 'throat' for all you not versed in the Scientifical termincology"

MisterFancyHotBalls_2

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