Heublein Brass Monkey - The funky chimp.

Well, it turns out Brass Monkey (the drink, not the steampunk robot primate) predates the Beastie Boys song by about fifty years, as this 1971 ad for Heublein pre-mixed cocktails claims.

But let's never assume advertising is telling us the truth. A Medium-intensity Google search suggests that the whole WWII story was made up by an ad exec called Steve Doniger. The only corroboration for his exciting tale of espionage that we found was other Heublein ads telling the same story. Uh huh. The Wikipedia article even calls H.E. Rasske an "alleged spy", with no citations at the bottom of the page to lend any truth to the story. So, marketing B.S. it is, apparently.

But, the drink definitely existed as early as 1970-ish. It was made with a bunch of different things, depending who you ask - usually, several types of hard liquor and one or more fruit juices. It sounds like a headache in a glass if you ask me. Too many ingredients.

Back in the summer of this year, I had some girlfriend-related misery and took the edge off every night for about a week with a thing I thought I invented. It was red wine, vodka, and lemon juice and I called it "Vino Mio Dio". The edge was definitely taken off of me, but getting up the following day could prove a challenge when riding the red pony, as it were. Fortunately, after a week of mental assistance from Vino Mio Dio, I pronounced myself better "less distraught" enough to knock off the flirtation with cirrhosis. Down that road, madness lay.

So anyway, Bras Monkey recipe, coming up. I'll trust Drinks Mixer dot com for what I'll assume is a definitive recipe.

1/2 oz rum
1/2 oz vodka
4 oz orange juice.
Stir the hard stuff together first, and then pour in the OJ. Shake, and pour over ice in a highball glass.
Throw in a couple of cherries if you want to be like the ad.

If you own a cocktail shaker, you're probably not making your drinks in your locker, as the song's lyrics suggest. You're more likely a grownup with a job and a place of your own. So, here's the swankier Richard Cheese version of the song to play us out to the end credits.

Click for big.