Joke #1 - "Bad news, Congressman. We've detected a small particle of brain contaminating your skull cavity. We'll keep an eye on it for now, and immediately begin an aggressive treatment regimen of Bravo programming and Star Wars prequels. But if it metastasizes and spreads, it may leave you permanently incapable of doing your job."
Joke #2 - Doug's new glasses did make it possible for him to enjoy doing the crossword again, but they were a little more cumbersome than his old prescription.
Joke #3 - "Senator Tom Cotton's colonoscopy was, so far, proceeding without a hitch."
Joke #4 - Exoplanets have become so commonplace that some astronomers routinely discover two or three before even getting out of bed.
[Commenter jokes will be added to the post. -Mgmt.]