Botany 500 - Welcome, 007.

Aah, mister Bond. So nice of you to arrive at my summer chalet right on time. Won't you please sit down? No! Not on those chairs! They're only for looking at. yes, 007, this is one of those rooms. Nearly everything is just for looking at. Not for touching. Do you know why? I said DO YOU KNOW WHY??? It is because I am very rich and also very fancy. I have rooms that I only enjoy looking at. I stand in this room and regard it, of an afternoon. I find the temperate breezes drift ever so fancily through my french doors. It makes the floral slipcovers on my chairs flutter very lyrically, I find.

It is a pity for you that my confidante, Miss Scrufia Saladcrest, is also not for touching. I chose Scrufia because she goes so well with my tie. Don't you agree? Yes, it was very fancy of me to match her with my fashions in such a way. I understand you two had an... interesting evening together? I will admit I am impressed that your powers of seductiveness prevented her form completing her mission to kill you a bunch. But that does not excuse your sexying her up. No one is allowed to make sexy with her but me! I am a very accomplished world criminal and everything. I have many fine things, and I did not get to be a really fancy international crime guy by sharing my things with others - especially my women.

Yes! That's right! I regard Miss Saladcrest as one of my posessions. Does that make your eyebrows pinch together in disgust? Aah, I see that it does. Yes, I can see that my thinking is abhorrent to your world view. I can think in this way because I am so evil! Evil and fancy!!!

Eyes on ME, 007! PAY ATTENTION when I recite my evil monologue! And don't forget that I'm going to kill you really evilly in a second!

Wait. Come over here so that we may continue where the sun casts a beautiful rim light on my hair, clearly highlighting my style. No, not there. Right here? Yes, you turn this way, and I'll stand in just this way so that... okay, let me turn a little. Let's see, where's the sun right now? Wait. No, not quite there. Honestly, Pottery Barn said these window treatments were light filtering, not light translucent! Scrutia, did we get these from Pottery Barn or from Restoration Hardware? Yes, it was that place on the high street, wasn't it?

Wait. Where's Bond?

DAMN! Damn and blast those lyrical late afternoon breezes and the necessity of having the french doors ajar to enjoy them in just such a way! Damn damn darn!

GUARDS! Find him a lot! Right now! But try not to look like you're in a hurry! Yes, you may use the nickel plated guns. They go with the new sashes I got for you.

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