Webster's Dictionary - Could a gift say more? Explicitly. Indubitably. Palpably.

You can't blame them. Any company will try to spin their product every way they can, to get a slice of the Christmas sales pie. You also can't blame me for scoffing at Webster's attempts to make a dictionary seem like a thoughtful gift.

The tag line is true enough. A dictionary gift can say a lot...

"I bought you this at the airport this morning, darling."

"I'm a crusty old professor who was never close to my daughter."

"I have heard you say words in the past, so I got you this book that talks about them."

"I know you have a mouse problem, and this book seemed pretty heavy."

"Your poor vocabulary is proving to be an obstacle, trammel, or vicissitude in our relationship."

"I work for Webster's, Inc. and I am lazy."

"I have determined that your earth-customs obviate the need to convey to you a gift at this particular portion of your annual planetary orbit, in accordance with various superstitious mythologies. Beep."

They tried to make the woman look relaxed and casual, dressed in her Chanel suit, sitting in her spotlessly organized library. So, bad job there. We assume she's just relaxing, reading the dictionary, but she could easily be reading The Bell jar, or Roots. It is 1968, after all. But no, let's assume she's reading the dictionary. I know there are people who do this, just to pass the time during a very long prison sentence, for example...or to kill a few days while waiting for the medicine to kick in.

If her husband gave her the dictionary, I think she's probably looking up "divorce".