2/12/10

Sleep Secrets VERY Revealed!

Any magazine read (nearly) exclusively by men will find an excuse to run pictures of women in as little clothing as possible. In all my years (exaggeration) of reading Mechanix Illustrated (not really), I've come to expect (hardly) more maturity (no)  and responsibility (hah) from this publication (yeah right).
 In December 1957, Mechanix Illustrated ran this groundbreaking study of "The Strange Sleeping Habits of Women". The title of the article is a bit of a giveaway. The magazine seems to understand that most of their readers have never been near a sleeping woman... or been in the room where such woman-sleep is performed.

Why is the article so focused on the sleep habits of women only? Even if the research were legitimate, why would the findings be important to Mechanix Illustrated? Because the readers of MI know that sleep is important for good health, and they're concerned with the well-being of women. That's why they yank the covers off the model right before they take the picture.

Strange Sleeping Habit #1: When you take away the blanket, they become "cold" and curl into a ball. Bizarre!

Why was this experiment conducted only on women? Why was it only conducted on HOT women? Wearing sexy nighties? With makeup on? With the lights on? The three in this picture get to use blankets. Why is that? Maybe they had ugly bodies.

Here's a sample of the incisive science reporting one can expect to find within the pages of Mechanix Illustrated: "The snoozing human guinea pigs get all kinds of electrodes and measuring devices taped to them to find out just what happens to the human organism when the snores begin to rumble." Well done gentlemen. I think I heard that exact phrase used in a NASA press conference. "What tests will the Spirit rover be able to perform with it's impaired mobility?" "Oh, all kinds of stuff." No further questions.

 Strange Sleeping Habit #2: Women often sleep in various positions while unconscious!

"Sleeping position may reveal personality, according to some phychiatrists." This is pseudoscience. The way science is supposed to work is that the theories and findings of THE MAJORITY of scientists are to be taken seriously. Those are the theories that have undergone peer review and are accepted by the scientific community. The over-simplified opinions of cranks are to be scanned, posted and ridiculed. I'm doing my part. The idea that sleeping position reveals personality is right up there with palm reading and tea leaves. However, it is a decent excuse to take pictures of babes in their nighties.

Strange Sleeping Habit #3: Not getting sleep is bad for you. Yeah, that's not a habit. It's just a fact or something. Shut up.


Female victims subjects were, uuh... subjected... to the tilty maze toy thing test (see picture). Researchers found that doing the tilty maze is hard, and even harder when you're groggy. But, while watching her progress with the maze, it's a good opportunity to look at her boobs (see picture again).  On what parameters are they grading her tilty maze performance? Completion speed? Not everybody can finish the maze at their best.

In the other picture, we see a lab technician looking at a comparative chart of how hot the tests subjects are. We do not see his left hand. I'm sure it's doing something sciencey.


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