Teleyeglasses (1963) - Keep you from looking in any mirrors.

Joke #1 Gernsback shows off a pair of "teleyeglasses", an idea he first dreamed up in 1936, a punishment for which he feels the world is now ready.

Joke #2 For crippled soldiers returning from war with forehead amputations, the electric forehead brings the promise of a normal life once again.

Joke #3 Every time Gernsback put on the Cool Detector Goggles, both screens read "zero". They must have been receiving interference from a nerdy satellite.

Joke #4 Gernsback shows off the "Make You Look Cool-O-Tron", an idea he first dreamed up in 1936, for which he feels the blind are now ready.

Joke #5 Now, gentlemen, using my new Enhanced Virtual Reality Visor, I can see, in three dimensional stereoscopic simulation, how my friends would treat me if I had a box on my face.

Joke #6 Still better than a Virtual Boy.

Joke #7 Finally, Science has developed technology that makes a bow tie seem cool by comparison.

Joke #8 DARPA feels that the Micrex Plus is now ready for deployment in Afghanistan, where American forces are suffering from a great need for technology that will allow them to inspect the backs of small knobs.

Joke #9 Now, gentlemen, I will, for the first time in history, be able to see INTO THE FUTURE! If you'll just bear with me while I engage the system, like so. Now, I should in a few moments be receiving the first images sent back through time from the future! Yes. I think I see something. The image will become clearer, you see, as the tubes warm up. Yes. The image is stabilizing! I can see it! It's a word! Focusing now. Please turn up the gain, assistant. yes, that's better, thank you. Okay, now I can see the text! It says... "dick" "head".

Joke #10 Virtual reality goggles allow dorks to see what their life would be like if they had friends. Ironically, the goggles always show the user not wearing virtual reality goggles.

Joke #11 Birth control goggles. 0% failure rate.


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